this one’s gonna be boring; skip it if you want

so. i’ve been doing a ton of thinking lately.

it’s hard not to think a lot, when you’re unemployed and have almost nothing really to do, structurally, on a daily basis.  sure, i have been overstuffing my time lately with listia, ebay, and etsy.

over the past few weeks, my brain seems to have lit back up with electrical activity, kicking back to vibrant glowing life.

you should see all the ideas flying around in here.

one writing project is closed up, signed, sealed, delivered, it’s yours, world; do with it what you will.

i’ve decided i need to write more, and currently have 1 book that needs to be finished finally, plus two more story ideas in there, plus i’m starting up another blog about pain issues.

this doesn’t even include the crazy idea flashes i keep getting, and FORGETTING to write down or document in some way.  it’s batty.

see, i don’t think in coherent sentences like most people seem to.  i don’t know how yours brains work, but mine seems to be different in many ways.  i think is a weird jumble of pictures, and streaks of colour and sound (and, to a lesser extent, touch, taste, and smell).  no, it’s not synethesia (hearing colours). it’s like an ongoing lucid dream in my head, but it keeps changing.  yes, i do dream lucidly, thanks for asking.

so, if you don’t lucid dream, you probably have no idea 😛

the thing is, i hardly ever dream while asleep.  but yes, when i do, it’s like a bit of real life going on.  and my dreams seem to last very long periods of time.  full days, sometimes several.  and they’re nearly always incredibly anguishing nightmare.

i digress.

the big point is, i think my former job must have been wreaking some mad havoc on my natural mental state.  i was so focused on work, and trying to improve those skills, that everything else in there shut down or crawled into whatever hidden cubbies the collective ‘it’ could find.

 

hello, picture brain, i have missed you!

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